Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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