Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
