and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Couch. On fire.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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