i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
