Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
