Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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