moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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