it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize