So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
