She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
