Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
