Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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