I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
