Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Randomize
