I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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