I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
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