Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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