you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
