i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
