whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Are we in a gay sports bar?
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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