we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
