You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
