she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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