wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Bring me that man meat
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
