the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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