is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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