We're facebook friends in real life
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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