is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
