I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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