I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
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