U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
