WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
