Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Randomize
