This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
