garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
