I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Randomize
