we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
