just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
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we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
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Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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