What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
