If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Randomize
