PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
It was confusing and full of hummus
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
