i just had sex bonerless
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Randomize