i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
