I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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