It's like a parade of train wrecks.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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