I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
