This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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