what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
