Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
