3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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