doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Randomize
