It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
