Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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