turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
We have started to decorate penises.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
