Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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