Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
