the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
