So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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