last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
