Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
