Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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