I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
