A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
