No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize