I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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