8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Just pee around me
I need to sanitize my soul.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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