I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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