Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
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