You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
