How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
