my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
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