"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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